5/19/06 Pins and Needles

Waiting on them that is....won't find out if there will be another try for pregnancy until next Wednesday. Depends on the couple who wants a baby. It seems forever away and yet is only 5 days. Feel kind of nervous to be injecting the hormones again but the pregnancy is the bigger picture. It would be the greatest gift to give two people, to make their family complete.
Cat show tomorrow. Wonder what that will be like? Have never been to one. Have only seen on TV, the Westminster Kennel Club Dog show.
Well, "Bend it like Beckham" is on so I must go watch with B.

5-8-06 Coloring books

There is nothing like having a new color book and crayons. You don't have to create the image, just fill it in with your own color scheme and "Voila" masterpiece. School supplies have always been something that I looked forward to. Maybe even more so than new school clothes or even shoes. The new erasers that are pristine and soft. The sharpened crayons just waiting for you to color with them. Wondering which one you will choose first. The new binder and paper just waiting to be used and organized..... I love school supplies!
I guess that the emotional roller coaster is yet to stop. Really feel FAT lately and wondering if people see past it when I can't seem to. Not motivated still though July is just around the corner. Would love to be Barbie for real but lacking motivation and drive. Maybe need chemical enhancement in the form of prescription medications? Need an instruction manual.
Time to get to sleep. That probably has something to do with the roller coaster too.

5-4-06 Hormone imbalance

The pregnancy tests were negative. I can't help but feel a little bit like a failure that I wasn't able to get their embryo to attach. Plus now that I am temporarily off the hormone shots, my emotions are in roller coaster mode. Not fun really. I can't explain the desire to be pregnant. I still don't want another child just the being pregnant part. I really hope that I get the chance to try again! I am one who likes to complete a task successfully and not give up part way through.
Well, sleep to catch up on and laundry to finish.....