11-13-05 Cinderella is back!
What a great weekend! Lots of snuggling and talking and coffee of course. Cinderella turned out pretty hot and the fact that her dress kept "popping" open, was icing on the cake...everytime I took a breath, sighed, yawned, got into the car, stood up...."HOW YOU DOING?", quite a laugh riot. Ü
I felt special and no ones wants to let go of that feeling. I was afraid that the feeling wouldn't come home with me. Only a small amount remained by the time that I was halfway home. I just couldn't seem to hold on tight enough. I couldn't help but feel that it was an absolute, all or nothing that was associated with someone else making me feel special. Why can't I do that myself? What is the magic switch that I can flip?
I did discover a "Happy Place" though, like on Happy Gilmore. My happy place has red flannel sheets and comfy bed. I can cuddle up and be warm. I am not alone there. I can hug or be hugged. Everyone coexists in harmony there.
The drive home was rough. I felt like throwing up the whole way. Even now my stomach is churning. I alternated between shivering cold and turning on the air. It sucks to have an emotional reaction so strong that it can make you sick. Yet another thing that I am good at but try not to do often. Only you can control yourself and make yourself happy. Right D? But if you have no clue how to do that, it helps to have someone else give you a hint. Maybe refresh your mind on past things that made you happy. Or pointing out what they think you could be good at or do well.
Off to sleep. Emotional outbursts really cause fatigue!
It was the weekend to remember! I haven't done the top 10 things that are good about me in a long time! The good right now is:
1. new "happy place" that my mind can visit anytime Ü
2. feeling special
3. great coffee
4. rekindled friendships/relationships(?)
5. Survivor Barbie (pink camo)
6. history lesson
7. tactical maneuvers
8. emotional expression
9. feeling relaxed
10.kissing memories.....
I felt special and no ones wants to let go of that feeling. I was afraid that the feeling wouldn't come home with me. Only a small amount remained by the time that I was halfway home. I just couldn't seem to hold on tight enough. I couldn't help but feel that it was an absolute, all or nothing that was associated with someone else making me feel special. Why can't I do that myself? What is the magic switch that I can flip?
I did discover a "Happy Place" though, like on Happy Gilmore. My happy place has red flannel sheets and comfy bed. I can cuddle up and be warm. I am not alone there. I can hug or be hugged. Everyone coexists in harmony there.
The drive home was rough. I felt like throwing up the whole way. Even now my stomach is churning. I alternated between shivering cold and turning on the air. It sucks to have an emotional reaction so strong that it can make you sick. Yet another thing that I am good at but try not to do often. Only you can control yourself and make yourself happy. Right D? But if you have no clue how to do that, it helps to have someone else give you a hint. Maybe refresh your mind on past things that made you happy. Or pointing out what they think you could be good at or do well.
Off to sleep. Emotional outbursts really cause fatigue!
It was the weekend to remember! I haven't done the top 10 things that are good about me in a long time! The good right now is:
1. new "happy place" that my mind can visit anytime Ü
2. feeling special
3. great coffee
4. rekindled friendships/relationships(?)
5. Survivor Barbie (pink camo)
6. history lesson
7. tactical maneuvers
8. emotional expression
9. feeling relaxed
10.kissing memories.....
posted by Jennifer at 8:54 PM
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