8-9-07 I made a family!
On August 5 at 2245, a baby boy was born. He was 9 lb and 1 oz, 20 3/4 inches long. Just beautiful and BIG! His parents are over the moon in love with him and everyone is happy.
I went in, got induced and it really wasn't bad. The bad part, laying in a bed facing a clock and just waiting......Water was ruptured and Pitocin started and labor was finally felt. After I got to 6cm which wasn't too long after, I requested the epidural. What a great alternative that is! Loved it until they turned it down for me to push. Pushed like no tomorrow and couldn't stop when the doctor said to. As a result, lots of sutures, 2nd degree lacerations. Then my placenta never came out so they pushed the epidural and my blood pressure crashed and I had to get Ephedra and go to the OR. I had a bad feeling that I was going to die then. I could only close my eyes and cry as they wheeled me to the OR. I really tried to visualize a bright pink bubblegum bubble and all I could see was a white light and a black light. I wasn't ready to die and really trying to think about something else and not succeeding.
Maybe that is why I cry now. It isn't because I am baby-less. He was never mine in the first place. It is a little bit because now I am not pregnant. It is probably a lot more because I really thought that I was going to die and for once in my life, that was not OK and I am scared.
The placenta was manually extracted and I got more sutures (go figure). I went to recovery for a little bit and then up to my room. I stayed for 2 days because I had to have IV antibiotics to prevent infection. Not a bad stay and I had really great nurses and CNAs. I got beautiful flowers from the parents and other goodies too. I watched a lot of cartoons and wrote in my journal, read the first Harry Potter book finally, and slept. Not sure if that was therapeutic or not but......
So, I have 3 more weeks off of work. Day to day is how it will be and hopefully my fear subsides...
I went in, got induced and it really wasn't bad. The bad part, laying in a bed facing a clock and just waiting......Water was ruptured and Pitocin started and labor was finally felt. After I got to 6cm which wasn't too long after, I requested the epidural. What a great alternative that is! Loved it until they turned it down for me to push. Pushed like no tomorrow and couldn't stop when the doctor said to. As a result, lots of sutures, 2nd degree lacerations. Then my placenta never came out so they pushed the epidural and my blood pressure crashed and I had to get Ephedra and go to the OR. I had a bad feeling that I was going to die then. I could only close my eyes and cry as they wheeled me to the OR. I really tried to visualize a bright pink bubblegum bubble and all I could see was a white light and a black light. I wasn't ready to die and really trying to think about something else and not succeeding.
Maybe that is why I cry now. It isn't because I am baby-less. He was never mine in the first place. It is a little bit because now I am not pregnant. It is probably a lot more because I really thought that I was going to die and for once in my life, that was not OK and I am scared.
The placenta was manually extracted and I got more sutures (go figure). I went to recovery for a little bit and then up to my room. I stayed for 2 days because I had to have IV antibiotics to prevent infection. Not a bad stay and I had really great nurses and CNAs. I got beautiful flowers from the parents and other goodies too. I watched a lot of cartoons and wrote in my journal, read the first Harry Potter book finally, and slept. Not sure if that was therapeutic or not but......
So, I have 3 more weeks off of work. Day to day is how it will be and hopefully my fear subsides...
posted by Jennifer at 7:40 PM
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